The Truth About Suffering
by Delle Tuh
Summary: Then I saw your face, you're turning skin into a dirty secret. I watched the beauties, watched the fire and the fire burn the beauty in their eyes. A drabblesque story set in Breaking Dawn. Slight warnings for the non-canon pairings.
1. Chapter One

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Twilight.

**Song in Summary:** I Can Barely Breathe - Manchester Orchestra

**Author's Note:** I have had this ship toiling in my head for some time now. Once I got a couple songs for a fanmix I was compelled to write this. I know it's in the same timeline as '_Bullets'_ and I'll probably write an Edward/Jacob in the same timeline as well. Call it redundant or you can just say Stephenie Meyer left a lot of strings to be played and toyed with. What-have-you it doesn't matter. It's written in short stoccato drabblesque chapters and they jump around a bit. If you're well versed in _Breaking Dawn_ it shouldn't be a problem but I'll give hints. The story of our two beautiful characters starts when Alice sits next to Jacob because he's her...'asprin' I suppose. First line is directly taken from page 276 of _Breaking Dawn._ Keep an open mind, and no flames please, I'm a writer expressing my freedom of speech and love of uncanon. Song in quotes is Colly Strings by Manchester Orchestra. Please review. -Delta

_"You said you saw it comin' but you didn't see nothing. _  
_Your eyes are on the living room, your eyes are on the closet. _  
_Don't worry about, don't worry about anything."_

**The Truth About Suffering  
**'Chapter One'

"_Happy to be of service ma'am." _

His voice still enveloped her ears, making them slightly warm despite her crystallized skin. Just like him…_warm._ She could feel it from here - his dissipating anger, his utter and complete love for the damned woman upstairs. And then just him, Jacob, full of warmth and sunrays and everything she would have wanted - if she were human.

She shook her head, eyes still lingering on his boyishly sleeping face. Alice couldn't think like that, she _wasn't_ human. That was the point she was trying to make to herself.

But his disconcertingly warm body, and the smell that wafted off of him, however much it made her nose twitch, was more attractive than she would ever admit. He _smelled_ of the sun, warm baked clay and earth with dewy leaves and fresh cut blades of grass. She could actually see why Bella had grown so accustom to it…and to him.

She slapped herself silently, biting down on her lip.

Alice was here for simple reasons, to rid herself of a headache. Not to try to convince herself she wasn't crushing on a _werewolf_ of all things.

The word crush reverberated in her mind, the word little girls used when they liked a cootie infested boy.

No, that wasn't it. Never that.

So she kept watching him sleep, and when she was sure he was completely unconscious, she slipped a large pillow beneath his head, using rubber gloves to stifle her own scent, and ran off into the woods.

She ran away from Bella, and that now dreadful house.

But most of all, she ran away from Jacob.


	2. Chapter Two

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight. _

**Song in Quotes:** Touched - V.A.S.T.

**Author's Note: **This is an exerpt I created all by my lonesome. It happens. I love the identification with both of them. How they fit so easily while still being so uncanon. I love the possibilities. And I think I whore out Jacob too much. Oh well.

_"Touched; you say that I am too. _  
_So much of what you say is true. _  
_I'll never find someone quite like you, again."  
_**  
**'Chapter Two'

The sweet burn of vampire stench was barely staunched by the rain, which was pouring out of the blackened sky outside of the Cullens House.

Jacob was sitting on the porch, head buried in his large, roughened hands as Bella was inside, wheezing, barely alive anymore. She truly was a zombie now, walking down the green mile to her death. That's all this was, a transition period. And poor Jacob didn't know when it was going to end.

Alice was just inside the threshold, giving the tormented boy his space. And he was just a boy, with the weight of a man's world on his shoulders. She felt terrible about the prospect of his childhood being ripped away from his innocent fingers; it had happened to her too.

She hopped out the door, wishing for the fresh air against her skin as she flew, and absentmindedly ran her tiny hand through his large head of hair, ruffling the strands as gently as the wind.

Jacob shivered from the electricity her touch had sent through him, so fast as to barely register, but he could feel the burn of it to his very toes.

He watched as she ran into the forest, barely a blur to his hyperactive vision, and wished he had the freedom of that, too.


	3. Chapter Three

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note: **This is a bit of a filler, so hang in there with me. But I like the idea of their friendship, even if it's still a little forced at this point. Song in quotes is Roulette by System of a Down. Please review. -Delta

_"I have a problem that I cannot explain. _  
_I have no reason why it should've been so plain. _  
_I have no questions but I sure have excuses. _  
_I lack the reasons why I should be so confused. _  
_I know, how I feel when I'm around you. _  
_I don't know, how I feel when I'm around you."_

_'Chapter Three'_

Days drag on like weeks, and Jacob is there for it all.

He watches with tired, haunted eyes as they congregate around Bella, like she were a Mecca and they were all making the pilgrimage. Jacob can barely stand to watch, and so he does so from a distance, in case the situation becomes too much to handle and he has to run back into the forest where he feels he now belongs.

But Alice is always there when he is, hanging along the back with him, whispering in hushed tones as they all fight over the girl fighting for her life and the life of her…_monster._ That's all this thing was…a fucking monster. And that's all it would ever be to him.

Yet tiny little Alice was a simple and bright light in the darkness of the Cullen House, something to look forward to even if it wasn't consciously. Something to focus his energies on, whether it be just a simple game of cards or chess, which he could actually beat her at.

She suggested the games, and he couldn't really say no to her kindness.

And so she grew on him, like a growth the doctor couldn't remove, and she stayed there - for the time being.


	4. Chapter Four

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note: **Alright, another filler of some sorts. Or just a bit of Jacob's ignorance towards the entire situation. Because we all know how much he likes ignorance. Song in Quotes: Out Smallest Adventure by I Was A Cub Scout. And I'm gonna say this because hundreds of hits and only four reviews is enough to make someone angered. If you like the story, please speak up. It makes us writers very happy. Join the review revolution and review the stories you read. Thank you. -Delta

_"We found ourselves in clueless company. Spoke of things that we can not repeat. We've trapped our tongues and stumbled on our midnight steps. And oh how I know you best, you're the troublesome mess. But I would cut every corner to find you."_

'Chapter Four'

Jacob is lonely.

Hollow.

And desperate.

And Alice is the only one that can make him feel human anymore.

That simple fact is as stupid as he feels because she's a _vampire_ for God's sake. But she eases the pain Bella has inflicted upon his already bruised heart, and she can see him for what he really is.

An innocent boy.

Though he doesn't feel it anymore, he knows it's the truth. Can taste it like the raw metallic twang of blood in his mouth.

But he keeps this secret.

He keeps it from his pack, however small it is.

He keeps it from Edward, though with Bella his attention is practically nonexistent.

And, he keeps it from himself.

Because Jacob Black cannot stand this simple truth.


	5. Chapter Five

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note: **More of Alice's perspective. I like exploring feelings and situations. This would be that. Please, please...just hit the frickin' review button already. If you like it...show it! Song in quotes is Airplanes by B.O.B. featuring Haley Williams and Eminem. Review! -Delta

_"Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now..."_

'Chapter Five'

The future had all but disappeared for Alice.

Now it was not only Bella, Edward's and the Cullens' future, but also her own.

She see's nothing for herself, and that scares her more than the fetus that is stealing Bella's life, like time passing steals the minutes in which it brings.

Alice doesn't make the connection, more out of ignorance than anything else.

She doesn't want her future having disappeared because of young Jacob Black.

She would rather blame it on Bella's little monster.

That, at least, was easier.


	6. Chapter Six

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note: **Have you ever had a best friend of the opposite sex and be as close as boyfriend and girlfriend but never actually crossing that line? These two are beginning to get really damn close to that thin line neither of them noticed. Fuck...I'm a bit stoned, don't mind me. Song in quotes: Delicate by Damien Rice. It's perfect with the chapter. And please, if you like it, review it! -Delta

_"We might kiss when we are alone. When nobody's watching we might take it home. We might make out when nobody's there. It's not that we're scared, it's just that it's delicate."_

'Chapter Six'

The electronic whir of Carlisle's x-ray machine is like a constant background music playing in intervals; Alice and Jacob are used to it now.

The rest of the Cullen's were off hunting, only Rosalie and Edward had stayed behind with Alice, and only because of Bella, whom was upstairs under the magnetic field of the machine as Alice and Jacob spoke.

They were sitting side-by-side on the hardwood floor of the dining room against a small room divider, hidden by any seeing eye that might pass.

Alice was exhausted, if she could sleep she would have slept for weeks. But that comforting darkness never came for her as it did for Jacob and sometimes, she was jealous of that fact. But she settled for this stolen moment, and set her head gently on Jacob's warm and humanly soft shoulder, trying her hardest to keep the stench of her kind away from the wolf's sensitive nose.

But Jacob accepted her, and the burning smell of too-sweet tea and cherry blossoms, though he'd never found that sort of distinction in a vampire's scent before, and he set his head atop of hers.

She hummed appreciatively in her chest, and his heart jumped at the soft sound.

So he grabbed her hand and squeezed gently, reassuringly, and she dozed off as much as any vampire could, as he fell asleep with her too.


	7. Chapter Seven

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note:** This part...well, I knew Jasper would know something was crackin'. I would be retarded not to. So here is another filler, but yet, needed. The next chapter is amazing, I assure you. Review please! And thank you to my anonymous reviewer, for taking the time to read (especially at work). I appreciate all who read it, reviewer or not. Song in quotes is I Can Barely Breathe by Manchester Orchestra. -Delta

_"When I took the blame, we laid in ruins trying to quote your phase. _  
_We're yelling, 'Someone's got the answers, but I'd rather think there's nothing to be found!"_

'Chapter Seven

Jacob is angry, and his furiousness is eating her away.

She stands behind the glass of her house, watching him from the inside as he paces back and forth, pulling at his hair and baring his teeth. She hurts for him, and the pain is enough to bring her to her very knees.

Jasper walks up behind her, having freed himself from research in the attic, and wraps his arms around her waist, setting his chin upon her dainty shoulder.

"He'll be ok, my love," he whispers in her ear, so only she would hear, "I promise."

She knows Jasper feels her emotions, knows he's too much of a gentlemen to ask.

And then, she hurts for Jasper too.


	8. Chapter Eight

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Author's Note: So I promised this one was a big one. I lied. The next ones a big one, haha, I'm sorry about that. Another sort of filler. Song in quotes is I Feel So by Box Car Racer. Enjoy and review! -Delta

_"Sometimes I wish I was smart. I wish I made cures for how people are. I wish I had power. I wish I could lead. I wish I could change the world for you and me." _

'Chapter Eight'

He's pacing and he's mumbling to himself and finally, when he begins to answer his own worded questions aloud, he screams.

His chest is heaving from the intensity of the feral howl, his heart still stuttering out the uneven beats of his life. And Jacob is stretched thin, almost see-through at this point and soon, he knows he'll tear apart completely.

Movement from inside of the house catches his eye and he sees her, the _other_ her but it's enough to make his heart stop, and begin again even faster in more even, less staccato beats. Making him more alive than ever before.

Jasper is behind her, making his way to the living room and the look upon the tiny woman's face is enough to make his heart stop for a very different reason. He knew that if a vampire could cry, Alice would have been at that very moment. He could practically see the diamond drops on her skin.

She finally makes her way to the door and pushes it open, making her way towards him.

"Follow me."

It's all she says before bounding over the river, and into his forest.


	9. Chapter Nine

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note:** This is the chapter both you and I have been waiting for. Not saying much. Song in quotes: Vermillion Pt. 2 by Slipknot. Hope you like, please review. -Delta

_"She is everything to me. The unrequited dream; the song that no one sings. The unattainable.  
She's a myth that I have to believe in. All I need to make her real is one more reason, but I don't know what to do.  
No I don't know what to do when she makes me sad." _

'Chapter Nine'

Alice doesn't know what she's doing.

But she does it anyways.

She's running, a blur between the trees with Jacob fast on her heels. He's already phased, she can smell the magical electricity in the air, smell the warmth of blood pulsing away at his neck. She inhaled for good measure, taking him in while she could, before finally stopping.

She can taste when he phases back, a firecracker-like energy in between the layers of earth. His heart is pounding, and she knows what's coming next. She didn't have to be clairvoyant to guess.

"It's ok, Jacob."

"No," he growls, a deep and feral noise vibrating through his chest, "It is not ok, Alice. I shouldn't feel this way."

"And neither should I," she smiled, a bittersweet gesture, "But we're in common situations and things just _happen_, Jake. I should know."

"Yeah, that might have been it in the beginning, forced together by some situation or another but now…Now, Alice, it's totally fucking different. It's a-whole-nother ballgame at this point."

He runs his hands through his hair, and pulls, the white of his knuckles showing between the shaggy hair.

"Then do it, Jacob."

She looks at him with eyes as fathomless as the sea, eyes older than he'd encountered before. Eyes that had seen so much for too short an amount of time, and finally he could see the toll it all takes on her.

His resolve crumbles, and he finally pulls her against his body, and presses his soft lips against her own silken marble skin.

He is all she can feel in that perfect, illusory moment.

And they lose themselves in that forest, _his_ forest, together.


	10. Chapter Ten

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note:** It's coming to the sad ending. Two chapters left. Poor Jacob. Song in quotes is Wicked Game by Chris Isaak. Review! - Delta

_"What a wicked game to play, to make me feel this way. What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you. What a wicked thing to say; You never felt this way. What a wicked thing to do, to make me dream of you. And I don't wanna fall in love. No, I don't wanna fall in love."_

'Chapter Ten'

Jacob is guilty.

The pain eats at him and he can let no one feel it, can let no one in on this secret of theirs.

He loves Nessie, more than he could have ever imagined was capable of his broken heart. But he still loves Alice much too much, just enough to hurt, never enough to make a difference.

He finally feels the weight of Bella's decision, can no longer judge her for it.

When he finally steals a look at Alice, she smiles like she did that fateful night, and shakes her head infinitesimally in a silent but firm 'no.'

They could never be, will never be, and that fact tears him apart at the seams.


	11. Chapter Eleven

**Disclaimer:** I do not own _Twilight._

**Author's Note:** So, I suppose you can see where this is going? One more chapter to our beloved couple. Song in quotes: Set Fire to the Third Bar by Snow Patrol feat. Martha Wainwright. Review! -Delta

_"After I have travelled so far, we'd set the fire to the third bar. We'd share each other like an island until exhausted, close our eyelids.  
And dreaming pick up from the last place we left off. Your soft skin is weeping; a joy you can't keep it.  
I'm miles from where you are; I lay down on the cold ground and I pray that something picks me up and sets me down in your warm arms."_

'Chapter Eleven'

Alice is…gone.

She's disappeared and Jacob knows she left when he was gone for a reason, knew he would be coming back and she knew even if she couldn't see his future that he would have fought for her to stay, and that in and of itself would have raised more eyebrows than already had been.

And now Jacob doesn't know where to turn. Everywhere he went he found himself searching for her voice, needing her gentleness, her _softness_ despite the fact that she was made of stone.

So he occupies himself with little Nessie, and tries his hardest to feel nothing.

Again.


	12. Chapter Twelve

**Disclaimer: **I do not own _Twilight._

_"Do you remember the way that you touched me before? All the trembling sweetness I loved and adored. Your face-saving promises whispered like prayers. I don't need them. Oh, I need the darkness, the sweetness, the sadness, the weakness. Oh, I need this. I need a lullaby, a kiss goodnight. Angel sweet love of my life. Oh, I need this. Well is it dark enough, can you see me? Do you want me? Can you reach me? Oh, I'm leaving. You better shut your mouth and hold your breath and kiss me now and catch your death. Oh, I mean this."_

'Chapter Twelve'

Exaltation.

It's all he feels when he sees her running form, perfect and beautiful and so very _Alice…_

She's come to save them, just as he silently hoped she would.

Just as he subconsciously _knew_ she would.

He wants to run to her, run at her, jump upon her and hold her to him until the sun fell from the very sky above them, but he knows he can't.

He knows he never will.

But in a fleeting second, she looks at him.

Her eyes, endless tunnels of gold, holding longing and bittersweet apologies.

Only for him.

She hopes it's a testament of their love, that they're both wanting, _yearning,_ for each other.

Even if they're suffering for it.

**The End**


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